Akane Challenges the Iron Chef

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this fic.  This fic is 
purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended for profit.  

Author's Notes: Many of you may not be aware of a show that's on the 
Food Network nowadays.  This show is called "Iron Chef".  It is a cooking 
competition show and it's filmed in Japan by Fuji TV (the Food Network 
has merely licensed an English dubbed version) and has been running in 
Japan since 1993.  It only started on the Food Network this summer.  In 
any event, you should watch it to see if you like it.  You can also 
check out www.ironchef.com for a more detailed description of the show.  I 
hope to convey the feel of the show here in this fic.  I don't really 
know why I'm writing this, I just thought it would be fun to write (and 
it was).  

Just as a quick introduction to some of the people referred to below, 
Kaga is Takeshi Kaga, the master of ceremonies.  He is always dressed 
rather... interestingly.  Fukui is Kenji Fukui, a baseball announcer who 
acts as the announcer for Iron Chef.  Hattori is Hattori Yukio, the 
food expert (the color guy.  Sort of the John Madden to Fukui's Pat 
Summerall, if you will).  Finally, Ota is Shinichiro Ota, the kitchen floor 
reporter who provides regular updates on what the chefs are doing.  Yes, 
these are all real people. 

Well, without further ado....

******************
Ranma « - Akane Challenges the Iron Chef
******************

Akane sat in her room fuming.  She knew Ranma was downstairs, nursing 
his self-inflicted wounds.  Well, actually, Akane had inflicted his 
wounds, but she considered them self-inflicted since he had to have known 
what the result of insulting her cooking would be.  OK, so maybe she put 
in a little too much chocolate icing in the tempura batter.  It was an 
honest mistake.

But, Akane vowed, this simply would not stand.  She'd show Ranma.  She 
had seen a show on TV the other day called Iron Chef.  Those guys were 
supposed to be master chefs, but the stuff they were doing didn't look 
all that different from how she cooked.  One of them even concocted an 
asparagus bavarian cream.  That had sounded disgusting to her, but that 
one judge raved and raved about it.  Well, if they could do it, she 
could do it.  She began to write a letter to Fuji TV asking to be on the 
show to challenge an Iron Chef.  When she won, she'd rub it into Ranma's 
face.  Even Kasumi would be jealous.  They'd see.  They'd _all_ see...

*****

"You're going to be on what?" Ranma asked as Nabiki stared in stunned 
disbelief.

"I'm going to be on TV.  I'm going to be the challenger on Iron Chef" 
Akane said.

"You can't be serious.  Those guys have trained for years and years and 
are master chefs.  You can't even toast bread!  How do you expect to 
beat these guys???"  Ranma asked, somewhat surprised he hadn't been 
malleted by this point.

"You just watch Ranma.  I'm going to win.  And when I do, I'm going to 
make you take back all the bad things you've said about my cooking." 
Akane said.

Ranma just looked at Nabiki, too astonished to reply.  Nabiki shrugged 
her shoulders.

"Well," Ranma said, "good luck."

Akane blinked in surprise.  Ranma was only rarely this nice to her.  
She smiled and thanked Ranma.  Of course, she didn't know Ranma, for 
once, had the foresight not to finish his sentence.  In this instance, he 
was going to say "you're going to need it like a man lost in a desert 
needs water" before he thought better of it.

*****

Several weeks later, Ranma came in to find Nabiki and Genma in front of 
the TV to watch Akane in action.

"Has it started yet?" asked Ranma.

"It's just about to," Nabiki replied.  "Oh, quiet!  Here it is."

*****

(The TV screen is black.  Then text appears in white.  The text says 
"'Tell me what you eat, and I'll tell you what you are.' - 
Brillat-Savarin")

(Scene changes to the Kitchen Stadium with the lights dimmed)

Fukui: Five years ago, a man's fantasy became reality in a form never 
seen before, a giant cooking arena: the Kitchen Stadium.  

(Scene changes to Kaga in his study, first contemplating and then 
suddenly eating a dumpling)

Fukui: The motivation for spending his fortune to create Kitchen 
Stadium was to encounter new, original cuisines, which could be called true 
artistic creations.

(Scene shifts to Kaga in the Kitchen Stadium)

Kaga: Allez cuisine!

(Music from the movie Glory begins as the scene shifts to the Iron 
Chefs rising from the floor of the Kitchen Stadium, then going in for 
closeups of each of the Iron Chefs as their names are spoken)

Fukui: To realize his dream, he first secretly started selecting the 
top chefs of various styles of cooking.  And he named his men the Iron 
Chefs.  The invincible men of culinary skills.  Iron Chef Japanese is 
Masaharu Morimoto.  Iron Chef French is Hiroyuki Sakai.  Iron Chef Chinese 
is Chen Kenichi.  And Masahiko Kobe is Iron Chef Italian. 

(Scene shifts to shots of several past challengers entering the Kitchen 
Stadium, then to scenes from past battles, and finally showing a 
challenger celebrating his victory)

Fukui: The Kitchen Stadium is the arena where Iron Chefs await the 
challenges of master chefs from around the world.  Both the Iron Chef and 
challenger have one hour to tackle the theme ingredient of the day.  
Using all their senses, skills, creativity, they are to prepare artistic 
dishes never tasted before.  And if ever a challenger wins over the Iron 
Chef, he or she will gain the people's ovation and fame forever.  

(Scene shifts to Kaga, alone in his Kitchen Stadium, enjoying a glass 
of red wine)

Fukui: Kitchen Stadium is the arena where you'll meet the master chefs 
from around the world and their artistic creations.  What inspiration 
will today's challenger bring and how will the Iron Chef fight back.  
The heat will be on!

(Scene switches to the streets of Nerima.  Kaga's voice is heard as 
pictures of Nerima, Furinkan High School, the Tendo Dojo, and later, the 
Tendo Dojo and Akane are alternately shown)

Kaga:  If memory serves me right, Nerima Ward is the home to many of 
the most formidable martial artists in the world.  In this environment, 
chefs must be especially strong.  Chefs in Nerima must be prepared at a 
moments notice to use their cooking as a deadly weapon.  However, at 
the same time, they must be prepared to a wide range of exotic 
ingredients, any of which could challenge them at a moments notice.  Of course, 
the most important thing of all is how their cooking tastes. We are 
especially fortunate today to welcome to our Kitchen Stadium one of the 
most intimidating chefs Nerima has ever produced.  Others quake in fear 
when they learn that she is in the kitchen.  Her name, Akane Tendo, 16 
years old.  Though relatively young, she has studied martial arts all her 
life and has applied her knowledge in the kitchen to create an exciting 
cuisine she dubs "Tendo-no-ryori."  Indeed, it is a testimony to her 
skill that, in spite of her youth, her abilities as a chef are known 
throughout Nerima and her name is now spoken in awe and fear.  Sa,Tendo yo!  
Come to my Kitchen Stadium and show us your terrifying cooking 
techniques!

(Scene changes to Akane, in black and white)

Akane:  I will defeat your Iron Chef!

(Scene shifts to Kaga stepping into the Kitchen Stadium, looking around 
in reverent awe.  The camera shows close-ups of various details of the 
Kitchen Stadium, then shows Kaga's hand grasping a yellow bell pepper.  
The camera then shows Kaga bring the pepper up to his mouth, taking a 
large bite out of it, then looking at the camera with a goofy grin on 
his face as he chews.  The camera pulls back more to show the Kitchen 
Stadium filled with a horde of chefs, all dressed identically, standing at 
attention.  The music swells.  Finally, the title of the show appears 
over a yellow background then cuts to commercial)

(After the commercial, the scene switches to the Kitchen Stadium.  The 
audience applauds as Kaga enters.  He holds up his hand and the 
audience falls silent)

Kaga:  In this kitchen stadium today is one of the rising stars of the 
emerging culinary world of martial-arts cuisine.  Please welcome the 
leader of this new cuisine, Akane Tendo!

(Akane enters the Kitchen Stadium to applause)

Fukui:  The woman they call the most formidable chef in Nerima enters 
the Kitchen Stadium.  A new legend may be created here today.  And all 
of Nerima must surely be watching! 

Kaga: Welcome.  I understand you are extremely formidable in the 
culinary world.  I must warn you, however, my Iron Chefs are also quite 
formidable themselves.  Whoever you choose, it will be no easy task.  And 
now, it is time to meet the Iron Chefs.  I summon the Iron Chefs!

(The song from the movie, Glory, starts as the lights dim.  The Iron 
Chefs rise from the floor of the Kitchen Stadium)

Kaga: It is time for you to choose the Iron Chef who you will face 
today.  Who shall it be?

Akane: I choose Sakai-san.

Fukui: The young challenger from Nerima has chosen to bare her fangs in 
challenge to French Iron Chef Sakai!  Sakai Hiroyuki incorporates 
Japanese kaiseki techniques into his French dishes.  His delicate touch and 
magnificent arrangements have earned him the reputation as the 
Delacroix of the Japanese culinary world.  Will he continue his winning ways 
even against a the champion of martial-arts cuisine?  This will be a very 
important battle for him as an Iron Chef! 

Kaga: Ah, autumn in Japan is a lovely thing.  And as autumn weaves her 
spell upon the surface world, young chefs eagerly look to the bounties 
of the sea for renewed inspiration.  And today, we have chosen a 
delicacy from the sea as our theme ingredient.  And it is especially fitting 
for autumn.  Today's theme is this!  

(Kaga throws off the veil from the theme ingredient)

Kaga: Today's them is (dramatic pause) oysters.

Fukui:  Today's battle will pit a formidable challenger from the 
birthplace of martial-arts cuisine against French Iron Chef Sakai.  The 
challenger is a trailblazer that does not imitate anyone. How will she fare 
against an Iron Chef with such a delicate touch?  Today's battle is 
sure to create a new kitchen stadium legend. As all of Nerima watches the 
gong of fate sounds! 

Kaga:  Allez cuisine!  (The gong of fate sounds)

Fukui: All right, Battle Oyster has begun.  The chefs have one hour to 
prepare dishes that best utilize the theme ingredient.  Hattori, what 
sort of preparation techniques do you think we'll see today.

Hattori: Well, of course, you can always eat them raw.  That is 
probably the most popular way of eating oysters.  But of course, we probably 
won't see too many raw oyster dishes today.

Fukui: So how do you think they'll be cooked.

Hattori: Well, they can be sauteed or baked with other ingredients.

Fukui: All right.  Now, I'd like to introduce our guests for today. 
Next to me is actress Niwa Fujitani.  Welcome back, Fujitani-san.

Fujitani: Thank you.

Fukui: Do you like oysters?

Fujitani: Oh, I love them.  I especially like them raw.

Fukui: Oh?  Why is that?

Fujitani: I like the way they feel sliding down my throat.

Fukui: Okaaay.  Well, next to her is actor Hideki Takahashi.  

Takahashi: Hello.

Fukui: What is your impression of the challenger, Takahashi-san?

Takahashi: Well, she seems very young, but she must be very skilled if 
she is the best chef in Nerima.  Nerima is a very large ward of Tokyo, 
after all.

Fukui: Yes, you must be right.  And finally, at the end is Yukio 
Hattori.

Hattori: Glad to be here!

Ota: Fukui-san!

Fukui: Yes, Ota.

Ota: I've just spoken to the challenger and asked her about today's 
theme.  She says that she has never cooked oysters before, and has only 
ever eaten them raw, so she is disappointed that Kaga has handicapped her 
in this way.  But she says she will give it her best shot.  

Fukui: Okay.  Thanks, Ota!  And I see the challenger isn't letting her 
disappointment show as she moves confidently through the kitchen.  
Hattori, she appears to be very comfortable in spite of the fact this is 
her first time in the Kitchen Stadium.

Hattori: Yes.  And look what she's doing here.

Fukui: What is that?

Hattori: It lookes like she's put some oil in the pan and is frying 
some peppers.  

Ota: Fukui-san.

Fukui: Take it.

Ota: Sorry for interrupting, but the challenger has coconut oil in this 
pan, and she's put in shallots, curry powder, chilli powder, salt, 
pepper, chopped macadamia nuts and jalapenos.

Fukui: Jalapenos?  This sounds like it's going to be a spicy dish, 
Hattori.

Hattori: Yes, especially with the curry powder and chilli powder.

Fukui: Do oysters hold up well with strong spicing?

Hattori: Well, normally, I'd say no, but it depends on the dish.  We'll 
have to see what she does with it.

Fukui: I see. 

Fujitani: Oh, look!  Ice cream!

Fukui: Ice cream?

Hattori: Yes, the Iron Chef is pouring cream and other ingredients into 
the ice cream maker.

Fukui: Are there oysters in it?

Hattori: I don't know for sure.  I saw him put in some of the juice 
from the oysters into the cream though.

PA: 45 minutes to go.

Ota: Fukui-san!

Fukui: Yes, Ota?

Ota: On the Iron Chef's side, he's put oysters into a puree of papaya 
and mango.  

Fukui: Papaya and Mango?

Fujitani: Ooh!  It sounds delicious!

Hattori: Yeah, it looks like he's marinating it.  He's probably going 
to steam them.  

Fukui: Well, that technique doesn't seem to be very Japanese.  Oh, hey, 
what's the challenger doing now?

Hattori: It looks like she's deep-frying something.

Fukui: Are those oysters?

Ota: Fukui-san!  Yes, those are oysters.

Fukui: Whoa!  How about that?

Takahashi: I've never heard of anyone deep-frying oysters...

Fujitani: Neither have I.

Fukui: Well, Hattori, what do you think about that?

Hattori: Well, it seems strange.  But, you know, it could work.  It'll 
give the outside a fairly crunchy texture while the inside will 
probably still be a little raw.  This could be pretty good.

Fukui: Well, we'll all find out at the tasting.

Ota: Fukui-san!

Fukui: Go!

Ota: The challenger isn't the only one using a deep fryer here.  The 
Iron Chef has cut foie gras into strips and is deep frying them in this 
pot.

Takahashi: Wow!

Fukui: Boy, that's a real diet buster there.  What do you think this is 
going to be used for, Hattori?

Hattori: I have no idea.  Sorry.

Fukui: Well, both the Iron Chef and challenger seem to be using 
unorthodox methods.  Now, is that milk the challenger has going in her pot?  
What's that in the milk?  

Hattori: Actually, that's cream in the pot, and she's put some kind of 
dried fruit in there.

Fukui: Dried fruit?

Ota: Fukui-san!

Fukui: Yes?

Ota: You're absolutely right.  The challenger has cream in this pot and 
she's put dried apricots in with the cream.

Fukui: Okay, you were right, Hattori.  But why is she doing that?

Hattori: Well, by stewing the dried apricots, she's partially 
reconstituting them.  Thus, they'll have a more tender texture.

Fukui: But how's she going to use oysters in this dish?

Hattori: I don't know yet (laughs).  Hey, here you are!  She's putting 
the oysters into the cream with the apricots.

Fujitani: Oh, this looks so good!  I can't wait to try it!

Fukui: Well, it'll certainly be a first for me.  Oysters and apricots.  
Hattori, that's not a combination I would have ever imagined.  The 
challenger certainly is creative.  How do you think this will taste?

Hattori: (laughs) I'm not sure I want to know.  It certainly is 
unusual.

PA: 30 minutes to go.

Fukui: Hey, is the challenger putting cream in with the jalapeno 
mixture?  No, that's coconut milk, isn't it.

Hattori: Well, if you remember, she used coconut oil to fry the 
jalapenos, so this might go well with it.

Takahashi: It seems a little odd, though, doesn't it?  And she's going 
to put oysters in it?

Ota: Fukui-san!

Fukui: Take it.

Ota: I'm in the box here with Soun Tendo, the challenger's father.  He 
told me that he was very proud of his daughter and was sure she would 
give this her best shot.  Also here is the challenger's older sister, 
Kasumi.  When I asked Kasumi how much she was looking forward to tasting 
the product of her sister's culinary wizardry, she said "Oh my!"

Fukui: I see.  Thanks, Ota.

Takahashi: What's the challenger doing now?

Hattori: Those look like shiso leaves.

Fujitani: Oh, I see.

Fukui: And what's she going to do with these, Hattori?

Hattori: I think she'll steam them.  

Fukui: Hattori, you are on a roll.  She's putting them into the steamer 
right now.

Ota: Fukui-san!

Fukui: Go!

Ota: In this pot the Iron Chef has made a cream sauce.  Into this sauce 
he has just added oysters.

Fukui: Okay, Ota.  Thanks!

PA: 15 minutes to go.

Hattori: And now the Iron Chef has got the foie gras, see, and he's 
putting it with oysters.

Fukui: Is that seaweed?

Fujitani: Seaweed!

Hattori: Yeah, and, see, he's rolling the oysters and foie gras in the 
seaweed.

Fukui: And he'll steam this?

Hattori: I think so.  No, wait.  He's putting it in the oven.  

Fukui: So he's grilling it.

Hattori: It looks that way.

Fukui: And now, the challenger.  What are those, Hattori?

Hattori: Those appear to be crepes.

Fukui: Crepes?  Wow.  Using French techniques like that, she's stealing 
a page from Sakai's book.  (The rest of the panel laughs)

PA: 5 minutes to go.

Ota: Fukui-san!

Fukui: Yes, Ota?

Ota: I've just asked the Iron Chef how he's doing and he told me to get 
out of the way!  He's putting in a lot of effort into this one.

Fukui: Yes, the Iron Chef is scrambling to complete his dishes, and it 
looks like he's also scrambling some eggs. 

Hattori: Yes, and he's put oysters in with the eggs.

Fukui: How will that taste?  

Hattori: I don't know, but we'll find out in a few minutes!

Fukui: Right you are, Hattori.  And the challenger is rushing to 
finish, too.  Both she and the Iron Chef have broken a sweat in this battle!

Ota: Fukui-san!

Fukui: Yes?

Ota: A tense situation has arisen for the challenger.  Do you remember 
the oysters that she deep fried?  Well, she has put them and some 
matsutake mushrooms in a tureen.  However, in the heat of the battle she has 
forgotten to put the aspic into the tureen as she intended.  As you can 
see from this replay, one of her helpers has poured the aspic into the 
tureen and has put the tureen into the freezer in a desperate attempt 
to have the aspic set in the last few minutes.

Fukui: Well, the challenger is resorting to desperate measures, 
Hattori.  Do you think this will work?

Hattori: I don't know.  I've never tried it, but I would worry about 
freezing the aspic rather than having the gelatin set.

Fukui: But do you think it will freeze in just a few minutes?

Hattori: Well, maybe not.  You could be right.

PA: One minute to go.  

Fukui: And we're down to the last minute.  The Iron Chef has put the 
oysters with the papaya and mango on plates and now is putting some sort 
of sauce on them.

Ota: Fukui-san!  Sorry for interrupting, but this sauce is made with 
wasabi.

Fukui: Wasabi?  Won't that be rather strong?

Hattori: I would think so.

PA: 30 seconds to go.

Fukui: The challenger is putting the final touches on her creations.  
And now we hear shouts of encouragement from the audience.

PA: 15 seconds to go. 

Hattori:  It looks like the Iron Chef is done. 

Fukui:  And so is the challenger. 

PA: 10 seconds to go.

Fukui:  He's making his final check. 

PA: 5 seconds to go. 

Fukui:  Both chefs are covered with perspiration. 

PA:  3... 2...1.

Fukui:  This battle is ovaaaa! 

****** 

Interview with Akane

Ota: How was the battle? 

Akane: It's hard to get it the way you'd like to do it.  I'm not used 
to this kitchen stadium, and the time goes fast.  

Ota: How are your dishes.

Akane: Well, the aspic one didn't set as I'd like, but I'm happy 
overall.

Ota: Can you win? 

Akane: Oh, I'll win. 

Interview with Sakai 

Ota: How did it go? 

Sakai: Very well.  I won't lose today. All the judges today like
strong-tasting dishes, so I kept that in mind as I cooked. 

Ota: Are you confident? 

Sakai: No problem. 

Ota: Can you win? 

Sakai: Sure! 

***** 

(Scene of a table set with Akane's dishes.  As each dish is described, 
the shows a close-up of the dish)

Fukui: The challenger has made five dishes.  The first dish is an 
oyster-mushroom tureen.  The delicate flavor of the mushrooms highlights the 
oysters in this dish, and the aspic brings it all together.  Second is 
oysters stewed with apricots.  The cream accents the other ingredients 
in just the right way.  Third is oysters steamed in shiso leaves.  A 
simple yet elegant dish.  Fourth is an oyster curry, the challenger's key 
dish.  The macademia nuts help moderate the heat of the jalapeno 
peppers in this dish.  Finally, for dessert, the challenger presents 
oyster-stuffed crepes.  These crepes are served with a delightful caramel 
sauce.  We'll have to wait to find out the judge's reaction to this unusual 
dish.  

(Scene changes to a table set with the Iron Chef's dishes.  As each 
dish is described, the shows a close-up of the dish)

Fukui: The Iron Chef responds with five dishes of his own.  First is 
oyster and foie gras wrapped in seaweed.  The fattiness of the foie gras 
compliments the oyster in this dish.  Second is oysters marinated in 
papaya and mango.  Served with scallops and turnips, this dish is 
highlighted with a wonderful wasabi sauce.  Third is oysters and scrambled 
eggs, topped with a cream-based oyster sauce.  The cream is the ingredient 
that brings this dish together.  Fourth is an oyster salad tossed with 
olive oil.  This dish is topped with caviar to add additional saltiness 
and texture.  Finally, the Iron Chef presents oyster ice cream. 

*****

Fukui:  Now for the tasting.  The judges are photographer Tenmei Kano, 
actress Niwa Fujitani, actor Hideki Takahashi, and food critic Asako 
Kishi.  First the challenger's dishes are tasted. 

(Deep Fried Oysters and Mushrooms in Aspic)

Akane: This didn't turn out like I had hoped.

Takahashi: Still, it didn't turn out too bad.  

Kishi: I agree.  The flavor is all right, even if the aspic isn't set.

(Oyster and Apricot Cream Stew)

Kaga: Well, what do you think.

Kano: Uh, no offense, but this is really nasty.  The saltiness of the 
oysters doesn't match with the overall sweetness of this dish at all.  
(Akane begins to glow blue) Uh, what are you doing?  (Kano dropsweats at 
the sudden appearance of a rather large mallet)

Kishi: Yes, I think the challenger has, perhaps, overextended herself 
somewhat with this dish.  She has tried to be too creative and original, 
and it didn't quite work.

Fujitani: Oh, but I like this dish!

(Oyster Curry with Macadamia Nuts and Jalapeno Peppers)

Takahashi: Aaaargh!!!

Kano: Man, this is hot!

Fujitani: Yes, this is a little hot for my tastes.

Kishi: I can't tell whether the inherent flavor is good or bad.  This 
dish is so spicy I can't taste anything else at all.

Kano: Hey, I need some more water here.  

Kaga: Say, is Takahashi-san all right?

Kishi: No, I think he's fainted...

(Oyster Crepe with Caramel Sauce)

Fujitani: Oh, this is wonderful!  I feel like I'm in heaven!  I'm on a 
cloud, looking down...  Why is everyone staring at me.  Am I drunk?

Kaga: I don't think it's the wine.  (Everyone laughs)

(Conclusion.  We note that Takahashi is no longer in his chair)

Kano:   Well, in one sense, it's admirable that the challenger has 
thrown out all the rules and tried to blaze a new path, but, to me, the 
taste just wasn't there.  I really didn't particularly care for any of her 
dishes.  In fact, I don't think I'd ever eat her cooking again.  

(Akane appears to be on the verge of tears)

Kishi: I agree.  The shiso leaf wrapped oysters were okay, and the 
tureen was passable, even if it didn't set.  But the rest were totally 
inedible.  

Fujitani: Oh, but I liked her dishes.  Well, the curry was too much for 
me, but I enjoyed the rest of her dishes.

Kishi: Well, perhaps, but I think they've got to be an acquired taste.

Fukui:  Now for the Iron Chef's dishes. 

(Seaweed wrapped baked oyster and foie gras.  We note that Takahashi is 
still absent.  Sakai is mopping his brow)

Kano: Wow, this is really good!  When I saw him deep frying the foie 
gras I thought this would be too fatty.  But I really like it.

Kishi: Yes, this one turned out perfectly.
 
(Papaya and mango marinated oyster with scallop and turnip in a wasabi 
sauce.  Sakai has taken off his hat and is wiping his brow with it) 

Kaga: This certainly is an unusual dish.

Kano: Yes, but I have to admit I rather like it.  The sauce is 
wonderful with this dish.

Kishi:  The sharpness of the wasabi cuts through the sweetness of the 
marinade, even as the marinade moderates the strong flavor of the 
wasabi.  This is very good.  

(Oyster and scrambled egg with a cream based oyster sauce.  Sakai is 
wringing out his hat) 

Fujitani: Ooh, yummy!

Kano: This one is a little rich, but it does taste good.  He's 
certainly shown me why he's the Iron Chef.  

(Conclusion)

Kano: All of the Iron Chef's dishes were excellent.  

Kishi: Yes, but all of the dishes were strongly flavored.  I would have 
preferred one or two dishes with a more muted flavor.

***** 

Fukui:  Now for the judging. 

Kaga:  Our challenger prepared some extremely exotic dishes today.  I 
will now announce the results. 

Fukui: Today's oyster battle was a monumental one.  All of Nerima must 
be waiting eagerly for the result.  What will be the outcome?  Who will 
be the victor?  The Iron Chef or the challenger? 

Kaga: Iron Chef Hiroyuki Sakai! 

Fukui: The Iron Chef has won!  Hiroyuki Sakai has successfully held off 
the challenge of the most feared chef in Nerima!  Here come the 
numbers:

(The scores appear on the screen: 

Judge:   Kano   Fujitani    Takahashi      Kishi
Tendo:     7      19           n/a            6 
Sakai:    16      20           n/a           19)

Fukui: It was a unanimous vote with Takahashi absenting himself due to 
his urgent hospitalization.  Iron Chef Sakai can breath a huge sigh of 
relief as he has demonstrated yet again why he is the Iron Chef.

(Show closes with a shot of Sakai wiping his brow in relief)

*****

Back at the Tendo household, Ranma and Nabiki bear remarkably large
sweatdrops...

******************
The End
******************

End Notes: I borrowed much of the introduction from the transcription 
of Battle Lobster posted on ironchef.com in order to be as accurate as 
possible.  Also, _all_ of the people in this fic, except for those from 
the cast of Ranma 1/2, are real people.  Not one of the names is made 
up.  Sakai is an actual iron chef, and the judges are all people who 
have appeared as judges on Iron Chef.  Also, all of the dishes that the 
Iron Chef prepared are based on actual dishes or use actual techniques 
that have appeared on Iron Chef.  You may have thought I was kidding 
about deep-frying foie gras or the oyster ice cream, but I have personally 
seen the Iron Chef deep fry foie gras (though it was a different iron 
chef, not Sakai), and I have read about how Sakai once made shirako ice 
cream.  Shirako, in case you don't know, is the Japanese word for a 
fish's sperm sac.  I am not making this up.  There was actually a Battle 
Shirako (and I thank God I wasn't a judge at that one).  And, no, I 
understand the judges did _not_ particularly appreciate this flavor of ice 
cream.  Akane's creations are my own imagination.  No, I have not tried 
cooking them.  No, I don't intend to, and would strongly discourage any 
of you from trying to duplicate any of the dishes you read about in 
this fic.  Also, I directly lifted Fujitani's reaction to the dessert from 
her reaction to the asparagus bavarian cream because, frankly, that was 
one of my favorite moments in Iron Chef.  

Incidentally, in the English translations of Tenchi Muyo, there was a 
sort-of spoof/reference to Iron Chef in one of the recent issues.  It 
was the issue where Sasami competed with a boy in a cooking contest.  

Well, I hope you enjoyed it.  Let me know if you have any comments or 
suggestions.  

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